Well, I suppose I should start by introducing myself: Oh, the numerous nicknames that have been bestowed upon me, and the many more which I have bestowed upon myself. Let's see, there's Dirt Waters, Doctor Waters, T Dirt, T Hull, Shma, Gengar, Dirt, Queef City, James Brown, and Cat Stevens to name a few.

My credentials include a degree from Ohio St. University (and yes, I purposefully left out the THE before stating the university name, despite that being the official title, because I prefer not be an ignoramus, proud baboon) in film studies...so no, I am not a crack-head kingpin, which I am sure you assumed I was from my collage of sophisticated nicknames.

My current life status is, one might say, the personification of the American Dream: I live with my parents, sleeping in my old bedroom with my stuffed animals to protect me from the red-eyed monster, and work as a waiter in a fish market where I am referred to as "trout-sniffer"or even "Trout Sniffer Jones" on special occasions.

As pathetic as I might seem at this point, I do have a wonderfully sexy (on the outside and, most especially, the inside) girlfriend, who is thankfully just as weird as me so I don't have to do much explaining.

So how about my dreams and aspirations? A kid brother like me must have some definitive goal, right? Well, that's where to true monkey wrench in my life is lodged into.

Up till yesterday, my dream was to become the greatest filmmaker alive. I dreamed of changing people's lives with my filmography on top of my vain illusions of being loved and rewarded for my efforts. I was going to save up money and move out to Los Angeles, leaving behind all expectations of who I should be.

It was a selfish dream, which I told myself was okay because I'm young and am supposed to be naive and idealistic and driven by may vanities. But I came to the realization that my dream wasn't about changing the world, it was about feeling like I was doing what I really wanted. I wanted to feel like I was choosing my own fate, but really, I was being governed by my fear of growing up, and I was blocking out all the consequences.

So I am here in this world now with not much of an idea of what to tell myself to work toward or how to move forward. I am lost and scared for my current state of limbo, but I am also grateful for knowing and realizing the psychology behind my dreams and fears, and feeling clear-minded.

Join me from the conception of my newly lost mind and soul, and let me write to you about this adventure I am about to undertake.